TIME TO PLAY ON PLANET PERPLEX

Or, how to have a virtually good time!

By Theolonius McTavish, a perplexing person who adores enigmatic ephemera and why not!

A funny thing happened on the way to the zoo, or maybe it was the dentist office ...both of which fighten me.

To make a short story long and shaggy just to drive my friends and family a tad insane, I discovered a wonderful website called Planet Perplex (situated somewhere in the universe of unfathonable and what some have dubbed undeniably useless undertakings).

More organized than the "Hingefreel people of Arkintoofle Minor", less intoxicating than the "seas of Santraginus V, where the fish never seem to care whatever the heck kind of direction they swim in" but certainly part of what is technically known as the "WSOGM, or Whole Sort of General Mish Mash".

This odd little body floating around in the ethernet of eccentricites offers a great deal of latitude for loafers. For artsy-fartsy lollygaggers there's all manner things to keep their nerves firing on all cylanders like optical illusions, ambiguous arrangements, impossible images, pesky puzzles, subliminal sensations, not to mention ambigrams for the addlepated.

Frankly, there's never a dull moment in the life of the idle-fingered folk. All we really need to know is that the universe is a lot more complicated than the average air-head, lip-glossed lollygaggers, or the been-there-done-thats might think!

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For those who want to know more about hapless happenings in the universe, pick up a copy of Douglas Adams' "fifth book in the increasingly inaccurately named Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy", a rather fine audio rendition of Mostly Harmless.

Thumbnail photo of an optical 3-D illusion by well-known British chalk-artist, Julian Beever.

DASHING DOODLERS WANTED!

Or, slackers please step up and submit your sketches to "The Shapetionary"!

Contributed by: The Quipping Queen & Empress of Eccentricity, need you ask more.

2007 is destined to be a dandy year...especially if you're a golden pig (according to Chinese astrology).

For those who do not fall into the category of swish swine, perhaps you would care to try your hand at doodling, drawing, or the next best thing, pencil pushing.

It seems that the folks in "God's Country" (Ontario), and Toronto (hogtown) in particular, are seeking contributions from the hoi polloi to a unique project entitled, The Shapetionary".

Those who are intimidated by the thought of connecting the dots, painting by numbers, or technical rendering will be relieved to know, these skills are not required. Bashful book worms are encouraged to consider coming out of the closet with a drawing instrument in hand. Ability to read and comprehend the meaning of random nouns in the English language would be an asset, as each "artiste", (and 1,200 - 1,500 are needed), will be asked to illustrate one word.

Those interested in contributing to this anatomically-correct art project being organized by Toronto artist Mary Flood of Terminus 1525 online studio, please email velvetbicycle@hotmail.com and you will be sent a short list of words to graphically grind out (along with complete instructions).

Good luck all you grammarian-impaired and graphically-challenged gurus!

SLACKER SABBATICALS

Or, why the world of work needs a new lease on life

By Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, Dean of Do-Nothing at the University of Utterly Useless Undertakings in Great Snoring (Norfolk).





Rather than expend oodles of energy running around in little circles every day or entering competitive corporate rat race challenges, the world would be better off if workers had the opportunity to perambulate, putter or piddle about as they pleased.

The author of the book "Workers of the World RELAX" certainly has the right idea! Sack all your stuff and maybe take a "Slacker Sabbatical" while you're at it.

Rather than whimpering or whining about all the work that's piling up on your desk, you might want to consider taking a road less-travelled. Why not Take Back Your Time by reclaiming dinnertime!