Thursday, December 14, 2006


Or, how to change your life by doing absolutely zip, zilch or zero!

By Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, former Dean of Do-This-Do-That at the University of Useless Undertakings, and now part-time Professor of Glee & Whee at the Creative Loafing Institute where he spends most of his time dabbling, dawdling, or dangling modifers.

Many of my former students who have joined the ranks of the rat race have prevailed upon me for some glib guidance as to how to achieve success and smell the roses at the same time --without wasting too much precious brain energy, including having to remember when to water a chia pet.

Thankfully there is an answer in the form of a tiny titillating tome by Karen Salmansohn, aptly titled, "How to Change Your Entire Life By Doing Absolutely Nothing - 10 D0-Nothing relaxation Exercises to Calm You Down Quickly So You Can Speed Forward Faster".

Worrywarts the world over will be pleased to hear that relief comes by clearing away clutter from the cortex. This means doing absolutely nothing. In fact, doing nothing about anything allows one to forget about fretting and fidgeting or figuring out what switches to switch, what levers to press, or heaven forbid, even what lovers to leave.

Rest assured dear readers, that you will also have the added benefit of knowing that none of the pages are numbered. This is a great relief to those who are bored with counting their chickens before they hatch or counting sheep to get them to sleep. All of which makes this iconic item a perfect self-help pocketbook for someone else's Little Loo Library.

So take a whee break and pick up a copy of this bodacious book of bunkum! And may the Force of Zip Be With You Ever More!!

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