ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT LOAFERS

Or, stuff you probably don’t know in the great scheme of things

By Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, Ph.D. (a pretty happy dude), whose easy-as-pie attitude to life makes him a shoe-in for Dean of Do-Nothing at the Creative Loafing Institute, (dedicated to the long lost art of lingering, lollygagging or just hanging out in a lackadaisical or lounging manner in the company of oneself or other like-minded folk)

“Loafers”, well let’s see if you didn’t know what they were, there are 5,760,000 web pages devoted to this seven-lettered word in the English language.

Those who can’t find their funnybones, or perhaps have misplaced their joy of life, believe that loafers are synonymous with Protestant-work-ethic-challenged members of society such as beachcombers, good-for-nothings, goldbrickers, idlers, lazybones, malingerers, ne’er-do-wellers, shirkers, ski-bums, slackers, wanderers and wastrels. “Loafers” they suggest have a lot in common with members of the animal kingdom who occupy lower rungs on the food chain of life such as lizards, slugs or sloths.

Often removing one’s blessed blinkers puts things into perspective. A quick glance at web pages highlighting “Loafers” reveals some interesting facts:

• The “Loafers Beach Club” in North Carolina offers a hoot of a time for shagging shindiggers who like to wink at the dj, tap their toes to live music, or trip the light fantastic like Fred Astaire?

• "The Penny Loafers”, a premier rock and pop coed cappella group hailing from the University of Pennsylvania, who can certainly belt out a tune or two to keep folks happy!

• All manner of fetish-footwear and sole-inspired spirits take great delight in trying on those low, leather-step in shoes called “loafers” (that resemble moccasins) because they’re oh so classy, comfy and cozy!

• And then there’s the “Loafers Glory”, (a clog-dancing group of women based in Ashville, North Carolina who love to perform a unique dance style from the Northwest part of England including such dances as the “Godley Hill”, “Knutsford” and their very own “French Broad”!)

• If you missed the mirth-filled movie called “Vagabond Loafers” (1949), you can grab a copy at the video store and see the antics of “The Three Stooges” as ‘Day & Night’ plumbers called out to a fancy mansion where a party’s going on…need we say more!

• And last but not least, why not send a merry missive off to a “MySpace” Maven named “Loafer”, (who says she’s 102 years old, lives in Chicago, Illinois, wears high heels, and has fast wheels not to mention a pocket full of cash!)

So, there you are ...a treasury of tidbits about "loafers".

Now all you need to do is lighten up, kick back, and explore the leisure-inspired world of "loafers". Frankly, it’s the best way I know how to relieve stress, keep party-poopers at bay, and stop funk-oriented family and friends from raining on one's parade!